Love and relationships stories, over the years, have evolved in different natures and taken different definition that the computer age concept of it has continued to conflict with that of the orthodox era . This conflicting ideology, hence, gave birth to the high rate of uncertainty preoccupying most unions that any person that tells you s(he) is very certain of the next thing that will happen in his/her relationship at each point in time, such person might be taken as unreal or just day-dreaming.
In time past, life’s orientation and perception about love and relationship was, like, cast in stone based on the type of orthodox lifestyle people led and also following many other morally bound kind of influence from family, relatives, and religious bodies.
In the present day society, however, things have changed. Take for instance, some time ago, one romantic text message from a man to his partner will be okay to hold her mind up, keep her love alive, make you afresh in her mind, command her respect and loyalty and yet, keep her fidelity untainted. Also, one bouquet of rose delivered once a year as Valentines’ gift will be enough to tell a woman that you are in love and wholly committed to the relationship but nowadays, the story has changed. When it is seen that your expressions of love are not practically backed by tangible items, you will just be seen as chancing the wind and possibly setting the table for someone else.
Once you are not ready to dedicate “all” your acquaintances – time, undivided attention, money, patience, and also go ahead to sacrifice partly your connections with some friends and family members, know that you may never satisfy a woman. You just can never do enough to completely buy her conscience and loyalty. At every point in time, she has a new agenda to bring to the table which will take another u-turn to understand, manage and cope with.
Gone are those days love and relationship had a defined formula which once you adopt and practice judiciously, you will sail through. When people adopted the opinion and practice of “I want to build the kind of relationship as Mr. A” or “I want to have the kind of family as Mrs. B”. But the logic here is that what worked for Mr. A may not really work for you and the kind of character and attitude Mrs. B has may be completely opposite that of your partner and the very moment you begin to try bending her, it will be like forcing a square peg into a round hole, thence, misunderstanding and chaos will become inevitable.
A friend once shared how he went on a shopping trip with his wife ahead of a scheduled function. They took their time and made exotic selections which she loved and appreciated but upon reaching home she went online and saw more befitting outfits and that was all – mood changed, quarrel ensued and plans scattered.
Human beings are bound to change at any point in time and we, as rational beings, are consequently bound to apply wisdom where appropriate in managing it. This is the more reason why romantic relationships are meant for matured minds that can actually take and contain all the odds and ups and downs of it.
There are, however, some basic guiding principles one can adopt and practice while entering a relationship which will guide your steps from the day one of it and also make you take charge while the journey lasted.
After accepting to date or court with your partner, adopt and practice the following:
- Take time to study, find out and know well who your partner is
- Go ahead to find out his/her taste and what s(he) has passion for
- Try to find out his/her likes and dislikes and how you can best apply either or both as a romance tool or otherwise with wisdom
- Find out also his/her soft spots (strength and weakness) so as to enable you manage him/her best in times of anger and strife
- Discover his/her uniqueness and desist from making negative comparison with him/her and anyone else
- Then, develop the capacity to maintain undivided attention and focus towards making the relationship work.
Note: The very moment you begin to complain to the wrong person, you are losing it already.