The journey to regaining a lost or fading love in a relationship is always a long hard road without any easy fixes; in shut one of the hardest tasks to embark upon especially when pride has a deep tap root in the characters and personality of either or both of the partners. However, there are some definite things you can do to regain lost love from a partner, be it a long-term boyfriend or a new relationship. It happens to the most of us especially at that certain point when something seems to click, and you realize the relationship has become dull and the intense love you had has now become just a mutual partnership. You are happy to be together, but not exactly enthralled by the passion.
When we begin a relationship, everything is brand new, so the feelings you encounter enthral and fill you with joy. However, after a certain amount of time, it’s natural that those feelings start to dwindle. Although you still feel something towards the main squeeze in your life, the love is not all encompassing any more. So how do you go about regaining love when a relationship reaches that stage?
1: Work To Always Fall In Love Over And Over Again.
Mignon McLaughlin once said: “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.” This is the only way love can be renewed to last longer, grow larger and get stronger. Try and remember what those first few days, weeks or even (if you’re very lucky) years were like. Ask yourself what you did differently and how you treated each other. And then try, with the co-operation of your spouse/partner, to relive those moments. Go out on a first date again, to a nice fancy restaurant, and maybe order the same meals you would have eaten back then. Regain love and passion! For one night, forget about calories and kids and cost for the night! These small things can be very important in trying to trigger your mind into remembering how you felt about someone, and why you felt the way that you once felt.
2: Learn To Fall For One Another
This is all about compromise. It’s a key word, and one that can never be over emphasised. Compromise! At this stage of your relationship, one ought to have cultivated the habit of knowing when your partner is going to object to something or not. Trying to pre-empt their most likely action from their countenance probably or when they have the drive to participate in an activity you may have no interest in. You will have to be permissive and receptive too in response to your partner’s demands and urge rather than counter them in most unlikely and unfriendly manner. Statements/expressions such as: “No, I don’t want to do this and cannot do it” or “We are going to that birthday party, whether you like it or not” or “I don’t care how you feel about it”. These sorts of stack-naked responses are not conducive for a successful, happy relationship and can stop you from regaining love in your relationship. Instead, consciously think about your answer to one of your partner’s requests, take a moment to understand and think about what he/she is saying, and give a clear, measured response. Hopefully, over time you can learn to compromise on some things. Even if you end up disagreeing on something, or saying no, the fact you have clearly considered a response before answering will do a lot of good. Note, you might actually enjoy some of the activities you never would have done before.
3: Avoid Playing Expensive Mind Games.
Any act of mind games and digs at each other has to stop. One may feel justified in what he/she says or does during one of these verbal battles, but over time they, not only wear you out, but also kill your partner’s longing to be with you. Start being straight with each other rather than beating around the bush and making insinuative comments. Be more of a good and close friend rather than mare jolly fellows. Mind games in some situations can be fun, and completely harmless, such as teasing in the bedroom, or play-fighting. These can actually help foster a good relationship, and be healthy reminders of why and how you love each other. However the petty arguments that can start to creep into a relationship after a while do nothing to help you start to regain love like you felt when you first met
4: Be Honest.
Honesty—one simple word, but probably the most important aspect to a relationship, and certainly an essential part of regaining love that may have lapsed. I am very sure you were honest at some point in your bonding, when nothing seemed taboo, and you could tell your partner everything they were to know about yourself. As you grow, things change, and two things happen.
First, you’ll feel more comfortable with your partner and be able to talk about things that you would have before felt embarrassed about. However, the other is that you begin to feel uncomfortable telling him certain information, such as about a co-worker that hit on you or sexual repression you have been feeling.
Because you do not want to hurt feelings, you simply omit things. There is this awkward saying trending among some misguided minds that: “If you do not lie to your partner over certain things, you do not have regard for his/her feelings”. It may not be big, but it is all these little lies and dishonesties that could end up costing you lifetime happiness together. Instead, try being 100% open with your partner. You will find each other opening up together, and as well as promoting love toward each other, it will also get you talking, and communicating easily with each other. It pays to be open
5: Make New Friends And Have More Of An Outside Home Engagement.
To regain love, you may first have to broaden your horizons, so the man/woman in your life soon starts to crave attention. When you spend time apart, you will appreciate your time together much more. These outside interests could be anything (except an affair of intercourse) that you find interesting or that you’ve always wanted to try. If you have kids, get to know other parents and spend time with them. If you want to get fit, join a gym and start training your body, etc.
You may, also have always had a dream of spending time drawing, carving, painting or some other creative pastime. This is your chance to do it. All of these activities have one thing in common—your man can join you in these pursuits. If he does, then as well as spending some extra quality time with each other, you may find a shared love for a hobby or skill. If he doesn’t, at the very least, you’ll start to be happier with your new life, and when a person is happier, it is easier to regain love all around.
6: Trust One Another.
Trust is the key to a lasting bond of love. If you don’t trust your partner, then love is not evident. If we allow it to, untrusting thoughts consume us. By default, everyone is a prime suspect of infidelity especially in distant relationships but only with trust can one discipline his/her mind and thereby mitigating and nibbing all those negative thoughts at the bud when they begin to crop up. Working first, to regain love without first regaining trust would always be an uphill struggle, and so start to work through your insecure feelings as soon as possible. Ask yourself why you have lost the faith you once had in your man/woman, and what either you or him could do to regain that, and make things right again.
As with honesty and trust, communication is one of those key elements in regaining fading love, and is essential for any push to rekindle a relationship, either dying or already dead. Talk to each other, frequently, honestly and openly about things like the holidays, the resorts/restaurant in town, the pursuit you are moving towards, the movie you want to see, your fears, your stories, your ups and downs, the likes and dislikes of each other, the strengths and weaknesses of one another etc. Ask him/her how his/her day at work went, and tell him/her how yours was. Although it might seem obvious, it is surprising how many couples forget to just sit down and talk to one another. Small conversions can help you open the doors to the main important things you need to discuss.
8: Regain The Romance.
You’ve been out on that second premier date, and had also had good time on meals and drinks. Don’t let the evening end there without driving for more intimacy and bonding. Hold hands, brush hair from face, take a short stroll or long walk, make some significant eye contacts, go to studios and take some thought-weird pictures and generally make a fuss of that person you love and proudly call yours. Do not be all round hooked and screwed by daily turmoil that you let your love life and relationship dwindle and suffer. Romance build good memories and constant reflection on these good memories quicken, revive and calls back to full life relationship nomatter which ever stage of stress and emotional torture it might be.
If you make that first move, you never know where the evening may end up! In general, to regain love in your relationship, romance is essential. This and the other steps listed provide a very good framework for regaining love in that relationship you do not wish to end. As with all things, teamwork is essential, so get your partner on board with the program. If he/she is not willing, or not able, then maybe it’s time to look for a new partner who better understands your need for love.
Above all, work towards settling down with someone you could call your soul-mate. Someone who ignites the fire inside of you. Whom you love unequivocally and who shares your worldview.