The Processes of Recovering from Infidelity

The Processes of Recovering from Infidelity
The Processes of Recovering from Infidelity

The price for infidelity is primarily loss of trust and which is the highest kind of fracture any relationship can suffer. No relationship can ever be smooth without trust and this is the major engine chamber attacked by the act of infidelity. Break in trust is like a wound; it will heal but the scar will always remain. It is like a rope; once cut and retied, it can never retain its initial length.

Infidelity can ruin the strongest relationships, it is one of the biggest obstacles that impacts a marriage or friendship and causes emotional and mental damage. Infidelity can be said to occur when one or both partners who are married or in a long-term committed relationship become emotionally or physically involved with someone outside of the relationship, which leads to either sexual or emotional infidelity. Regardless of the type, infidelity causes feelings of hurt, disbelief, grief, loss, anger, betrayal, guilt, sadness, and sometimes rage and these feelings are very difficult to live with, manage, and overcome.

When infidelity occurs, there’s a total loss of trust in the relationship especially when the partners so much trusted each other and never lived in suspicion or fear of cheat of each other. Oftentimes, it’s hard to look at the person in the face, it’s hard to be in the same room with him/her, and very difficult to have a conversation without thinking about what happened, and without saying to yourself, how can you say you love me and do this to me, or …so despite all your words of confidence and affirmation, you could still condescend to this. It could just be that ugly.

Emotional and Mental consequences of infidelity.

Infidelity is very complex, very confusing and negatively impacts a person’s emotional and mental health, leading to depression, as well as, anxiety. It has the ability to turn that person you’ve always known to be a lamb into a tiger overnight. Couples who experience infidelity in their marriage go through many ups and downs while trying to recover or move past it, the hurt partner exhibits feelings of anger, frustration, tension, despair, hatred, disbelief, distress, hurt, and confusion, and have a difficult time dealing with feelings of betrayal and the consequent loss of trust.

Impacts of infidelity on the betrayed partner

The tragedy of Infidelity causes a very devastating impact on a marriage or friendship, and leaves a person questioning their worth, value, sanity, and impacts their self-esteem. The hurt partner feels abandoned and betrayed, and he/she begins to question everything about the relationship, their mate, and wonder whether the entire relationship was a lie or just fairy tales. When there’s been infidelity, the hurt partner is sad and upset often, cries a lot, believes it’s their fault, and sometimes blames themselves for their partner’s indiscretion and untrustworthiness.

Working on rebuilding your relationship after infidelity

Although infidelity is highly destructive and can cause serious damage, it doesn’t mean the marriage or friendship has to be over. If you have experienced infidelity in your relationship, it’s possible to rebuild, recommit, and reconnect with each other. However, you must decide if you want to stay in the relationship and if it’s worth saving. If you and your mate decide that you want to rebuild your relationship, recommit to the relationship and to each other, and reconnect with each other, you may have to make some hard choices, make some decisions that you may or may not agree with, and you (the offender) must understand and accept the following:

  1. The cheating must end immediately if you want to honestly work on the marriage.

  2. All communication via telephone, texting, emails, social media and physical contact with the person must stop immediately.

  3. Accountability and boundaries must be established in the relationship.

  4. The recovery process will take time…..don’t rush it.

  5. It takes time to manage and deal with the negative thoughts, feelings, and emotions, as well as the recurring images that your mate may experience.

  6. Forgiveness is not automatic and it does not mean your mate will forget what happened.

In addition,

If you are the one who cheated, you must be honest enough to discuss what happened and openly, and answer any questions your spouse has about the infidelity.

It’s never an easy task to come by, trying to recover from and overcome the depression of infidelity, and it’s not impossible, either. Healing and growth will occur in your marriage or friendship if you choose to stay and recover from the infidelity together, and if you decide that staying together is what you want, remember that it’s important for both of you to heal and rebuild trust most importantly.



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