That word ‘lie’ once pronounced instantly triggers a notion and an ill feeling of bad and negative instinct: dishonesty, disrespect, cheating, insincerity and untruthfulness, insecurity, zero or near-zero integrity and a whole lot of low moral value and attachment and stands as the greatest threat to any relationship irrespective of how long it may have lasted or how strong and intimate it may have been.
Despite this, there are many individuals who are prepared to spin works of fiction to their friends, family, and partners – all with seemingly little difficulty and still see such as just being clever or as a smart way to evade been distrusted, disregarded or punished.
In the real sense, a man or woman of integrity and worth would prefer to rather tell the truth and stand in for it.
1. Lying Depicts Lack of Respect
When someone determines and tells the naked truth at all cost and against all odds, it simply confers the feeling of the kind and extent of respect and regard such person has on the partner. It proves to them that the other person places significant value upon them and on the relationship also and is not prepared to jeopardize it by deceiving them. There is this weird perception by so many: “If you do not tell your partner “necessary lies”, you do not have regard for his/her emotion”. Habitual lying and disrespect capitally underscore a toxic relationship.
While some truths will clearly put a relationship at risk, lies tend to be even more damaging. Telling someone the truth, even if you know it will hurt them, shows that you are willing to take responsibility for your actions; lying shows nothing of the sorts.
As soon as this lack of respect becomes apparent, it begins to put great strain on all aspects of the relationship and, if left unchecked, it will soon leave it in shambles.
2 Trust Issues
Perhaps the most obvious impact that lying has on a relationship is the erosion of trust one person has in the other. Lies and trust never have common grounds for agreement as one lie can destroy a million trusts.
Whether gradually or suddenly, lies can utterly change the landscape of a relationship and make it uninhabitable for either or both parties.
Trust is so essential for a strong and successful relationship because when it is lost, the chances of total collapse are very high and chances of recovering the level of trust initially had is extremely low. Trust is a virtue that one can only earn over time and which always need constant effort to maintain. Most heartbreaks recorded in most successful relationships took their seeds from lying which became tantamount to distrust. However, only those who are well equipped with the best tips can manage this consequent heartbreak and come out strong.
Once you uncover a lie for the first time, it is hard not to live in expectation of future untruths from that person. You begin to question what they are saying, passing their words through your internal alarm systems in order to detect any hint of dishonesty.
The problem is that having to be on perpetual suspect puts a real strain on the interactions between the two of you. Sooner or later, the mental energy required keep the relationship going might become extremely demanding and would make you want to avoid that person altogether for a while or even for a lifetime. The impression alone and the consequent guilt are sore-pressing.
In all these, “thinking that another lie is not most likely on the way”, but inevitable is going to make you more suspicious. This is especially true in romantic relationships where one partner starts to question where the other is, who they are with, and what they are doing.
3. Lying Demonstrates Selfishness
When someone lies, they are essentially putting their own self interest before those of others. Their unwillingness to make a sacrifice for the greater, long term good of a relationship is another indication that they do not place a high value on it and mean well for it.
Lies can also be an indication of more widespread selfishness and disregard for the other party, which can make them feel unloved and unwanted.
4. Lying Makes Someone Feel Cheated and Fooled.
That moment you realize you’ve been lied to; it is enough indication that you’ve been fooled, cheated on and taken advantage of and always leaves one with a lasting unpleasant experience. When your eyes are opened to the truth, you can’t help but feel foolish for ever falling for the lies.
Being made to feel this way by another person eats away all the positive feelings you may have had towards them. The hurt may open up a divide between the two of you, or it may simply cause old cracks to resurface and widen. Imagine a circumstance where you are being talked into a relationship by the opposite sex and you have been made to believe all the “sweet” and interesting stories only to find out that all are lies when you have already gone far deep into the relationship with so much commitment – some of which cannot be reversed. Consider the kind of feelings and the extent of hurt it could leave you with.
Either way, your view of this person will be forever changed by the pain they have inflicted upon you.
6. Lies Bring Imbalance in a Relationship
For a relationship to stand the test of time and endure the trials of everyday life, both parties must give equal commitment and energy to it. This balance creates the feeling of partnership that binds two people together and allows them to bring the best out in each other.
Lying disrupts this natural equilibrium and causes the balance to slack to one side. For the person who was lied to, it can feel as though they have put their heart and soul on the line, only for the liar to hold back theirs.
When you recognize this reluctance on their part to fully commit, it is natural to doubt their desire to make the relationship work. This is true and applies to all kinds of relationships, but especially romantic ones.
7. Lies Beget Lies
It is not uncommon to find circumstances where one lie lead to another and another and so many other chains and myriads of others in some vain attempt to keep the wool pulled over their partner’s eyes. It might even be the case that an individual is a habitual liar who sees no real wrong in telling them to the people in their life.
Inasmuch as one lie might cause repairable damage in a strong relationship, multiple lies will spell a perpetual damage.