Learning How to Manage and Resolve Conflicts in a Relationship.

Learning How to Manage and Resolve Conflicts in a Relationship.
Learning How to Manage and Resolve Conflicts in a Relationship.

Managing conflicts is not impossible, but you have to learn new ways of dealing with them as they arise, you have to want to enhance your ability to communicate effectively and you have to want to work on improving your relationship, in order to decrease the chance of conflicts ruining it. Many times, couples lose their relationship in the midst of conflicts, which is every easy to do, but there are ways to manage conflicts without losing your relationship, and to do so, you have to imbibe and practice the following:

  1. Pray and ask God to help you communicate effectively and listen attentively. It’s important to learn to be quick to hear and slow to speak.
  2. Identify what the conflict is really about. Identifying a problem is always the first step to solving it properly. If you don’t have a clear image of a problem and vivid understanding and idea of what it is all about, your efforts in dealing with it may always end in vain.
  3. Ask questions to make sure you understand what was said.Clarify what was said by repeating what your mate said, and allow him/her the opportunity to respond and let you know if what you heard is what he/she said and wanted to communicate.
  4. Work together to identify certain agreed-upon solutions to the problem, talk about why they are best solutions and discuss possible outcomes as a result of the solutions. Working together “says” it’s doesn’t matter who is right or wrong.
  5. Don’t say hurtful things to each other– Just because you’re upset, doesn’t give you the right to say things that are hurtful. 90% of misunderstandings and uprisings that are seen I relationships are provoked mostly by unguarded utterances. Some individuals actually make use of awful statements as weapon of offence. There is this expository attitude which I have always imparted in most of the couples I counsel on how to guard and manage your utterance even at the peak of anger. It goes this way: at the peak of provocation and anger, before you go further to make any statement to your partner, first of all, count from number 1-10 in your mind. If you try this, you will see that something will suggest calmness to you and before you reach the cut of 10, the utterance you would likely make must have been tamed and reshaped. Try it. It works.
  6. Do not interrupt each other while talking. Doing so will cause more conflicts and is a sign of disrespect, and you’re saying to each other, “I don’t respect you.”
  7. Don’t ignore, don’t be sarcastic, and don’t blame each other.Doing so will cause more conflict in your relationship, and stop your relationship from growing.
  8. Accept, Acknowledge and Apologize. Take responsibility for your part in the conflict. Don’t play the victim and never let your “I’m sorry” handbag get empty.
  9. Take 10, if needed. Taking 10 is about taking a time-out from the conversation. It’s impossible to try to manage conflict without you or your mate getting upset, frustrated, irritated, or extremely emotional. If you have a hard time controlling your emotions, let your mate know that you need to take 10.
  10. Seek counseling. There’s nothing wrong with seeking counseling to learn how to manage conflict effectively. Many times couples go to counseling after they have already decided to give up and are ready to end the relationship. Don’t wait; seek counseling before your relationship gets to the point of no return.  Always be mindful of the kind of people you run to for counseling. Not all intelligent men and women are good relationship counselors. Not all men and women of God also are also excellent relationship counselors. Not all motivational and influential speakers and commanders of the word are experts in teaching and guiding you about how to live and handle your relation uprisings. It is not a part of “involving the third party”.


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